Day 2

Well, I'm feeling calmer today, although my body is showing signs of stress. (Yesterday my "bowels turned to water". Today I threw up.) I am better able to appreciate that Bob is not in immediate danger. I went to Eli S's birthday party and felt relatively normal. But I have a recurring need to hug my husband - more like hanging on for dear life! Strange how different a phrase like that sounds when you think the one you love is under threat of death.

We've agreed that we will pursue both conventional and naturopathic solutions. We're going to try to see the docs at the cancer center in UW Hospital Madison. They have an integrative medecine wing which works with their cancer patients and two docs who specialize in prostate cancer. My mind knows that this is probably very curable, but some other part of me is still in shock and mourning. I think Jung is right about the subconscious or the soul (he calls it the psyche). It is a vast, unknowable, yet powerful terrain, not to be feared, but to be embraced.

Both of us have registered an immediate emotional effect. I have had certain blind spots cleared up by this, and so has Bob. And it happened pretty much instantaneously. I see more clearly than ever that Truth really is a state of consciousness. This is the first soul lesson we have learned from this situation.